


The only one who cares

by Amerild



Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Domestic Violence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amerild/pseuds/Amerild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When shit hits the fan, where does he run to?<br/>Will probably have smut and/or fluff in later chapters.<br/>Mild trigger warnings for panic attacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The only one who cares

Jack’s POV

I ain’t feeling well. In fact, I feel focking terrible. I can’t seem to stop fighting with me girlfriend. She moved in two months ago. We fight over the silliest things. It hurts, so bad. I feel like such a focking failure. I thought our problems were caused by the distance. Obviously, I was wrong. Our personalities clash. She is a party animal and I’m not. Our sleep schedules clash. I tried and I tried but it just doesn’t work. I’m outside, getting drenched by the rain because I prefer that to going home and getting screamed at. Me head is pounding from the volume in me headphones, trying to drown out the world. I don’t know what to do anymore. Me heart is so heavy, I feel nauseous most of the time. I have no appetite anymore. I was already very slim to begin with, now I’m on me way to almost skeletal. Me nerves are frazzled, it’s even started to show in me videos. Even me youtuber friends are starting to ask questions I’m not ready to answer. Especially Markimoo, the only one who perseveres in asking if I’m alright despite me snappy comebacks and reassurances. The only one who really gives a fock about me. I sneeze. Crap, I guess I should head home. At least, I’d be dry. And if I’m really lucky, maybe she’d be asleep.

* * *

Of course, she’s not asleep. Of course, she’s chewing me head off, as usual. But there is something more than usual today. Something breaks in me as she screams at me. Again. I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. The scream is out of me lips before I can even register the fact that I’m screaming.

“SHUT THE FOCK UP!” *slap!* I clutch me aching cheek in shock. Me eyes harden.

“We’re through. I’ve put up with enough of yer bullshit! Pack up and GET THE FOCK OUT!” I yell, pointing at the front door.

Tears well up in her eyes. “Baby, I…” she stammers.

“No, I’m not yer baby anymore, I’m though listening to ye. OUT!”

She burst into tears, running to the bedroom. I slowly go to the living room and plop down on the couch, shaking like a leaf. I wait for her to pack her shit and get out of me apartment. I hear her rummaging around in the bedroom. After a few minutes, she finally gets out of the bedroom with her luggage, a determined expression on her face.

“Sean, don’t you think you’re overreacting.” I cut her off.

“Don’t make me repeat meself. I don’t want to see ye ever again.”

She recoiled, just as if I’d struck her. Good. Maybe now, she’ll realize that words can hurt too, just as she’s done these past two months. I go towards her. I see a wee spark of hope in her eyes. Nope.

“Gimme back yer keys before ye go out. I don’t trust ye.” I see that spark die out in her eyes with a grim satisfaction. She gets them out of her keyring reluctantly and hands them over.

“Good riddance. Now out!” I open the door for her in a parody of me usual gentlemanly behaviour. The moment she’s out, I slam the door and lock up behind her. Me cheek smarts a bit so I take an ice pack from the freezer. I let out a sigh of relief the second me cheek enters in contact with it. I go sit on me computer chair to try to distract me from the overwhelmingly deafening silence. It’s not that I miss her, but being all alone without any sound makes me anxious. Just as I click on a playlist, the power goes out. Great, even more silence. I use me cellphone as a flashlight to find a candle. I put it in a candleholder and lit it up.

I go to our… no, me bedroom. I peel off me still wet clothes. I grab one of me fluffy towels to dry off the rest of the moisture on me skin. I hang me clothes in the bathroom to dry off. I slump on the tiled floor. Oh God, why is the silence so loud? I roll in a small ball, shivering. I hate feeling like this. I notice distantly that I’m hyperventilating. I try to calm meself down, to no avail. Black spots begin to darken me view. Suddenly, someone pops into me thoughts, calming me down instantly, as always. I wipe me wet cheeks, ashamed. Why is it always him? When I think of his warm brown eyes and his goofy smile, it calms me down with a little wave of affection, almost as if it’s coming from him. I always feel a bit guilty for thinking about him this way, especially as I… had a girlfriend.

I’m still unsure how to feel about that one. On one hand, I’m glad she’s gone because she was constantly putting me down lately, almost abusively so. On the other hand, I loved her. We have been together for three years. I miss the fun-loving gal I fell in love with in the beginning. The one I shared so many lopsided smiles with, the one that blushed the first time we kissed. God, will I ever stop crying like a bloody baby?

I think I need a vacation. I think I need to run away from these walls that heard too much. I wipe me eyes. Again. I get up from me pathetic position on the floor. I go pack for about a week of clothes, putting on some clothes at the same. I put me laptop, me recording equipment, me charging wire all in a rigid locked suitcase. Now where do I go? I’ve got a few friends here and there… Then I think to meself, who’s been there for me, every single time? Los Angeles it is.

I book a flight for in three hours. I just hope he’ll be there, I don’t even want to call him. I can’t explain it, I just want to surprise him. I just hope he won’t turn me back. I call a cab, I take me jacked and my cap. It’s still pouring as I enter the cab with me suitcase and me carry-on.

I pass the security at the airport and I go take an espresso at the little café inside the customs. I take the newspaper to read it, to pass time. I have two hours to kill. I check the time after reading the newspaper. Only one hour and fifteen minutes to go. I purchase a Sudoku book and a pen. I complete three of the hardest level. Only a half-hour left. I gather me stuff to make me way towards the gate. I browse me Twitter account to pass time. I answer a few tweets, smiling as I see the ‘sempai noticed me’ comments. They always make me smile. I get a notification of a private message. It’s from Mark. As always, he sounds truly worried about me and me health. I think he noticed me sunken cheeks, me lack of a true enthusiasm, the bags under me eyes. He’s the only one who truly sees through the smiling mask. I hesitate on how to answer. Do I say what I always say or do I try the truth for once? I finally decide not to answer him, not right now. I will say what I have to say face to face. I always preferred that. I hold back me emotions until I can safely let them out. I’m filled to the brim with emotions, right now.  
I board the plane and try to make meself comfortable. I put on me sound-blocking headphones with some music and close me eyes. I wake up just as we arrive at the airport, feeling more refreshed than in a very long while. I pick up me luggage, after the security. I hail a cab. Thank God I already knew his address. I arrive in front of his apartment building. I pay the driver, take me luggage, double check the cab and the trunk to make sure I didn’t forget everything. I went up the stairs to his apartment. Me heart is beating so loud, I wonder how he hasn’t heard me through the door. Well, here goes. I knock three times on his door, holding me breath.

“Coming!”

I hear his steps coming up to the door. He opens and stays flabbergasted at the fact that I’m at his door. “Jack?”

“Hey Mark, I needed a breath of fresh air and I thought about ye and can I stay with ye and I promise I won’t disturb ye and please let me stay and…”

A hand on me mouth interrupts me endless string of questions before I can embarrass meself further.

“Whoa, slow down there, Jackaroonie! I can’t make out all that. Run that by me again slowly?”

“Sorry, I tend to go to hyper-speed when I’m nervous and I have a lot to say.” I say sheepishly as I rub the back of me neck. “I-I needed a break, a breath of fresh air and I figured, since you’re my friend, that I could surprise you and we could do a few collabs together. Please?” I look at him, almost begging him to say yes and not make this weird or awkward.

I realize in that instant, that I’m doing something incredibly rude. I presumed of his hospitality, I invaded his privacy. I am a horrible and inconsiderate person. Fock, fock, fock, I’m hyperventilating again. Suddenly, me nose is buried in sweet-smelling flannel and I slowly calm down as his arms encircle me frail body.

“Calm down Jack, everything’s fine, you just caught me by surprise. We’re gonna have so much fun together!”

“I’m sorry Mark. I-I-I’m… having trouble keeping me calm lately. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I’m single, I… I just can’t anymore.”

I’m sobbing openly now. His arms hug me closer to his chest, making me feel finally safe, finally home… After a few minutes, he scoops me up in his arms as if I weighted nothing. He delicately deposits me on his red faux-leather couch. He then goes back to the door to take me luggage inside the apartment. He then comes back to me. I open me arms, silently begging to be held. I love how his natural empathy enables him to understand every silent plea of mine. He sprawls himself on the couch and motions for me to climb on him. I settle down half on the couch, half on his lap. His arms encircle me once again, enveloping me in his comforting warmth and scent. Mark’s rumbling baritone fills me ears through his chest.

“I know you probably don’t feel like talking right now but when you do, I’d like to know what happened to have you in this sorry state. I care about you and I’d like to help you heal.”

I nod me head, unable to utter a single word through me choked-up throat. I feel his gentle fingers putting me cap aside, then carding through me short hair.

“You’re safe here, no one’s going to hurt you.” How can he be so reassuring? It’s like he knows exactly what to say to make me melt completely. I fall asleep again, exhausted beyond belief.

Mark’s POV

I knew it! I knew something was wrong. I felt it in my bones, in my gut. He’s so thin and so light, it’s alarming. And those dark bags under his deadened eyes. And the purple shadow of a small handprint on his cheek. Who dared lift a finger on MY Jackaroonie? Ooook, where the hell did that come from? He’s not mine though I wish he was. I’d take better care of him than his girlfriend. Wait a minute, didn’t he just say he was single? Oh crap, maybe that’s why. I’ll try not to jump to conclusions. You never know, it could be something else.

I feel such tranquility with him in my arms. I am humbled by the trust he obviously has in me. I feel like I have a very precious treasure in my arms. Sleep overcomes me after a few minutes of silent admiration and contemplation.


End file.
